Pennies From Heaven

March 17, 2008

Lone Lee

Filed under: :-(, Dammit., Lonely, forgive me, just most — Saela @ 3:19 am


The working title is Byrd Johnson : Nothin’ Else to Do on the Weak End. (And by working title, I mean I haven’t told or asked anyone’s permission…but my heart’s set on it)

I…bought yet another journal…even though I have plenthy that aren’t finished.

This is my 3rd attempt at this entry in 2 weeks. I’ve been feelin neglected by everyone that remotely matters, and can’t get rid of everyone else.

Oh, but me and Denise are friends again. Yay. She said B. was a bastard for what he did. She’s right.

I’m listening to Chrisette Michele’s Mr. Radio…and it reminds me that I haven’t been to Hawaii in a while. Nor have I been leid.
My apartment looks like a bat cave…I packed half my stuff up not cause I know where I’m goin…but because I know I’m goin. *Sighs*

This is bullshit!!! I’m lonely…but I can’t think of anyone that I wanna be bothered with!!! WTF is this shit???

March 9, 2008

If I wasn’t so Flaca,

Filed under: B**** A** N*****, The one that got away, Triflin A** — Saela @ 7:15 pm

I woulda put his triflin ass on blast today. Or I woulda’ let a lil tear drop while the sad hulk music played in the background…

But I am Flaca, so allow me to get into mannish character. ::::grips metaphorical balls::::

Aight. So, this nigga gon’ accidently send me a text intended for another chic. This is the second time, and though he ain’t a fulltime employee, it’s still not the kind of behavior I’d like for any of my workers to exhibit. It shows your lack of committment to the company and your failure to pay attention to detail. It’s one thing to be talkin to other girls…hell…that’s the whole basis of us not bein exclusive…I expect that. But by all means…don’t have too many to keep up with, don’t EVER think I’m interchangeable, and certainly don’t lie about it. I handed him a pink slip immediately. He begged for his job back…

“Since we haven’t been talkin it really has left an empty place in my heart. I try daily to put you off to the side but the thought of you never leaves me. I realized I haven’t only
messed up a relationship with an angel in my eyes, but I have also lost my
friend, and soulmate…and I can’t stop beating myself up for
that”

(There was a lot more, in other messages, but I’d hate to get caught with too much counterfeit on hand–I’d go to jail for possession with intention to distribute) So. I didn’t pay it any attention, but left it on the counter where Krisaela got a hold of it. She starts respondin to him, and next thing you know we got false hope on our hands. Just as he thinks everything is peachy keen, his other chic tags him in the pics they recently took at the Mav’s game on Kidd’s first night back in Dallas. (Shit he used to do with Krisaela) LMAO!!!!!!!!!!! Krisaela came and got me (on the brink of tears like a lil baby ass cry baby) so I finalized his termination and got rid of his position (Extra On-Call) altogether.

As if that wasn’t enough, yesterday I go out for a day of “Shit I like to do that doesn’t involve or include anyone but my selfish ass”. I shopped for jewelry, got my hair done, got the honey pot checked out at the Doc’s (it’s still fat, hard to get into and most importantly, uncontaminated!) and my last stop was a trip to Victoria’s Secret. I find myself in my own little world after discovering what I think is the best bra in the world. I barely notice some bright chic with highlights walk by with a guy. Outta my peripheral, I don’t pay dude much attention but he looks skaterish (I thought). Before I leave the “Very Sexy” area for the “Pink” section, I glance up thinking, “That girl was prolly cute (at least her hair was)…but the guy with her prolly wasn’t…let me take a look an make an assumption as to how they met/why they’re together.” (For the record, it’s NOT just me that does silly stuff like that!!!)

I look up to see the girl absorbed in the lacy panties, and dude’s body language (I hadn’t looked at his face yet) looked secretly uncomfortable. Like, if I were a stranger (which I thought I was) I wouldn’t have read the discomfort he was projecting. But alas, it was Mr. “Strike 3″ himself. (The chic was either the other chic…or another other chic…sorry, I didn’t pay much attention)LOL, Krisaela says, “I see you spreadin ya self so thin it ain’t hard to see through” But Flaca (She was already diggin’ through the “Pink” panties lookin for her “5 for $25″ said, “If hoe ass niggas come in all shapes and sizes, why the FUCK can’t I find a medium in these hipsters???”

Lol, ya’ll be goode.

March 5, 2008

Reporting Live

Filed under: Caucus, Dallas, Fucked Up, I love Obama — Saela @ 12:47 am

So, just to give the heads up, today’s guest blogger shall be none other than Ms. Pretty Flaca herself (Myself…ourselves, lol!). Reason being that Krisaela isn’t capable of writing this without cryin like a lil b****. I’m lookin around and I’m feeling so proud about the turnout…ya’ll, it’s somethin’ like moving.

I’m in line to caucus. I wouldn’t call it a “long” line…I’d call it a beautiful line. It starts at the door of Audelia Creek Elementary and wraps around the school neatly. I’m hearing several conversations at once. Well I was…now some idiot is in my ear yappin about Hillary being more qualified, and how young Obama is…said his name is Sam, he came here from Israel in 64′. I’m finna bitch slap him.

I overheard someone talking about caucus ambushes today…something about people signing the list but then being told to leave, and that they’d be called back later to finish the process…like at a later date. *Makes the boo-boo the fool face* And here, in my own neighborhood, our caucus is a lil suspect as we’re still standing outside in the cold, (Caucus shoulda started over an hour ago) and after assuring us we were in the right line, they told us to move to another. Everyone’s concluded it’s a conspiracy to discourage us and make us go home. I let them know I ain’t got shit else to do tonight but caucus, and I that I hope the same was true for everyone else in line. Dude is still in my ear…talmbout how much Jews and Blacks have in common…nobody asked him. (I dunno if he had his Jewdar on, or if my nose gave it away but…really…I’m not in the mood to talk about the holocaust!!!) The line is moving, finally.

Lol, someone just asked, “If this were just a line to see a movie, would ya’ll be out here in the cold this long waiting to watch it?” And I says, “Trust me…you don’t wanna see THIS on bootleg…best believe if this were a line at the movies you could catch me wit some Ugg boots on wearin’ some footie pajamas and a parka…”

…………………………

So. I’ve made it home…and my final thoughts on this evening are as follows…
I need to move out the hood or run for some sort of office and fix my precinct cause we are ATE UP.
I truly understand how elections get fucked up…just cause someone kicked their heroine addiction doesn’t mean they’re fit to handle something as detail-oriented as a caucus…there was NO organization…we voted for a chair person…and our only hope for sanity lost to someone who had NO idea what they were doing…or where her teeth were. The whole situation seemed thrown together and unnofficial.
I signed up to be a deligate. We (Obama) had 12 to Hillary’s 2 for our precinct.
The only thing worse than how our caucus turned out is the fact that in Lewisville, right up the street, they turned voters away–EVEN though they were in line before 7pm. Who’s ass needs to be kicked? I forget her first name, but the Judge’s last name is Jenkins. She ordered the police at city hall to shut the doors.
North Dallas…(and surely South Dallas considering they’re worse off) has failed me today. I pray I made/am making/will make a difference.

Oh, and a BIG STFU to the skank at the meeting who was questioning our chairpeople about whether or not they attended rallies for both candidates. She was like, “It takes a strong person to attend the rally of someone they don’t intend to vote for…and I dunno if I’d feel comfortable voting for someone who’s not strong…” B**** what?!?! Here’s my logic. Both candidates give the same prepared speech in each city they visit. Yeah, they spice it up by personalizing it with a few points that are significant to the particular city (ie: Go Cowboys, ) but trust me…I didn’t need to see Hillary live to know she’d be on that bullshidddd and that I didn’t wanna vote for her.

*Sighs* Now they tryna tell me we lost Texas, but I ain’t hearin it. Either way…we got a long road ahead of us.

G’nite.

March 4, 2008

2 Poems in One.

Wouldn’t say I hate you if I wasn’t thinkin bout you…
And purely outta anger say I’m better without you…
Constant excuses give me reason to doubt you…
To make you doubt me, I make friends and go out too.

But, Even when out, feelin the need to text you,
Bitches leavin you notes, givin me urges to check you,
Hoe’s, groupies and Boppers lined up to sex you,
So I stay on edge unless I’m standin right next to you.

And,
Even then, more possessive then I care to admit,
For Girls Raised In The South, I keep a pot full of grits,
Never used to be this way, but now it seems I got bit,
By the baby mama bug and common sense took a hit.

Now steppin out her shoes, and back into mine,
Flaca never plays the victim–she commits all the crime,
Finna click over and tell her, “If I want him, he’s mine”
“But I don’t, and you shouldn’t, why you wastin ya time?”

I started writing this poem about Jay back when we were still Fred & Wilma…but as I finished what I expected to be the last line, my homeboy’s gf calls me to ask if I’m messin with her man. Thaaaaat’s when everything switched. But on a sidenote, why girls (is she still a girl at 28?) call your phone and ask if you’re sleepin with their man is beyond me. This is my theory. If you took the time to obtain my number, dial it, and ask me that…you’ve already made it up in your mind what it is. I can easily say no (cause I’m not…eew) but that’s not gonna make you believe me or feel any better. And if I say yes, then what? Do you say, “oh, okay, I was just wondering”? and hang up? No…

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