Everyone was saying it, and it took me til today to finally agree with them.
Let’s be 23 about the situation.
A lie is a lie is a lie…unless you tell everyone…in which case it becomes a common belief. Why a sheep would wanna wear WOLVE’S clothing is beyond me…major shoulder shruggage on that one.
In response to an AKA probate on campus, a funny Delta once said, “Hey ya’ll…guess what happened today in the union at about 2 o’clock?”
Everyone of course asked, “What?”
She responded, “Not a damn thang” and walked off.
This is how I feel when I do a recap on just about ANYTHING these days. It makes me wonder why the f*** I put so much emphasis on situations that were blatantly not deserving. For the first time in a LONG time, I experienced RAW anger yesterday. I was angry to the point of not being able to blog it…which is rare for me. I just had a permanent fist…ready to molly-whop anyone in my path. I could barely contain myself, and as I sat rigid in my computer chair, I thought to myself, “This is what slashed tires, keyed cars and baby mama’s are made of”. Of course it’s not what I’m made of, so I got over it. “Life is short and black and white, like little penguins…”
But seriously though…I’ll turn 23 in 10 days. Back when I turned 21, I said, “I’m 21. Not fresh-faced 18, not a wet n wild-child 19, not an ambivalent 20 year old…a grown ass, graceful, strong, intelligent, witty–I ain’t gotta tell you!!! Lol…”
And now I’ll say the same…and add that at 22, I was all the above. Well, minus the ambivalence, cause I knew what I wanted, when I wanted it, and if you couldn’t give it to me, you got dismissed and made fun of over sushi with friends.
At 23…I hope know I’ll be better than ever. My most recent mantra has been that “I can only do better”, and it’s the truth. I have a lot of stuff to work on…lots of projects I had put aside. As for friendships and relationships…this is where I’d remind the audience that some people are strictly seasonal…but I think if one were just bored outta their mind and ever just READ me, they’d pick up on that after the first few entries. 
What I WILL say, is that all my interactions with people (even those that appear to be a COMPLETE waste of time and bloggery) have been precious gifts because whether good or bad, they strengthened my relationship with J. Christ. Oh you know him too? That’s awesome.
The last time I blogged, I said I wouldn’t be here for a while, because of the only part that mattered…but, now I’ll just say I love you, take your time…and that whatever it is will be there when you finish, whether it was there before, it’s there now, or it’s something else completely.
This isn’t really my “How Saela got her groove back” entry…I’m just glad to be back at work and moving in a positive direction. Yesterday I was pissed because on my emotional conveyor belt, I moved the material from “sadness” to “anger” and then the machine broke down before it made it to indifference. By the time I left work today, I had fixed the machine, flipped the switch, and oila…we have a perfectly assembled and sealed package of “what were we packaging again?”
Lastly, (I know ya’ll are like, stfu already!!!) Lupe’s coming on Wednesday!!! It’ll be my 4th time seeing him…Our “seats” aren’t that exciting cause I’ve never gone to see him without being in hug/handshake range…but, he said if he has time, we (the UK _________) will get to hang out either before or after. Here’s my logic. He’s gotta propose eventually…4’s the charm, right???
This whole cycle where everyone “gets it” after 2 years stops now. That “one who got away” crap is starting to get on my last nerve. I’m good on that…trust me, I’m not it. Usually I’m the hard ass who sticks it out, cause stuff like this builds character yadda-yadda-yadda…but this time around the towel is thrown in and the white flag raised. Let me know when there’s a sale on time machines. Lol, I feel like a martyr. I promise the next blog will be about sunshine, puppies, and all that good stuff.