I’m so pissed I can barely see straight. I walked around in them alllll fuckin day…they’re the only ankle socks that stay put when I wear them with hightop sneakers…
And all day I thought about where they came from, the night I got em, how foolish I had been…
There is a 6 mile chunk of 635 in Dallas that I shut my eyes and refuse to look at from the passenger seat of ANY vehicle. And if I’m driving? Best believe I take 75 instead. It tastes like a busted lip…
I’m not sure if I’m upset that I have to start all over again from yesterday, or if I’m bothered with the fact that I may have solved the problem for good. I DO know that it took seeing her again for all this to re-surface. I don’t think I’ve ever hated anyone more than her. Ever. Not Hitler, not Kevin Bacon…nobody. And that bugs me! Cause…she’s not worth it. I know this cause I had forgotten she existed til today.
I had it right about a month ago, and now due to my lack of discipline, I gotta wait til MARCH! Gimme a fuckin break already!!!
I wish my mom was here right this second. I’d cry, and cry, and cryyyyyyy, and then laugh and say, “I know, this is stupid” and we’d prolly go shopping or she’d give me a box full of designer shoes hot off the runway. Shoes that don’t require socks, and if they do, you’d never think to wear bowling alley socks with them anyway. They’re much too good for that.
2 days after Thanksgiving, I called my mom to wish her a happy one. I explained my tardiness, and after she got me all worked up about it, she challenged me to just start back writing. I told her I couldn’t, cause I had absolutely no desire to…but here we are at the end of an entry that feels like it was written on a piece of sandpaper. And I’m relieved.
Goodnight.
