“You MUST be sleepy”-Lil Duval

I love to write and though texting isn’t the most sophisticated platform for an argument (it’s right up there with arguing inside of a camping tent.) I’ve managed to master the art.

I just got out of a grapple to end the match that has went on for the past 2 hrs. Lmao, had we spoken on the phone I would have lost, because I hesitate in speech. Anyways, I was sittin here thinkin’, “Damn, my hands hurt from texting…I should ‘FATALITY!’ Him already…”. Final round ended like this:

Him: So basically ur telling me u regret it and u don’t want me to come.

Me: I’m telling you it’s 4am, and if you really wanted to see me or talk it would have happened over the past few days. You were ghost. How else should I take that?

Him: I have been busy Kris.

Me: Well I’m honored that you found it in your heart to pencil me in for the middle of the night. I’m sure you fuck with more convenient girls. One HAS to be awake.

Case in point, sometimes in the text battlefield, it’s unwise to end with a question mark as I did on that first response. Why? Cause even though you THINK your question mark is evoking feelings of empathy, and making the other person see your point of view, it’s NOT. You’re just leaving yourself open for an excuse. (See: I have been busy…) But, luckily for me, he provided a weak excuse without thesis or any supporting statements. That left him open for the take down…ring the bell dammit, he don’t want nooooo more.

Lol, also, keep a cool head. Wins like this are the result of being passive and not being too emotionally invested in the person/argument. I couldn’t care less about the topic at hand (why we couldn’t date/pick up where we left off, and why I didn’t want his company now or ever.) Yeah, I could have just ignored him to avoid drama or hard feelings. But I prefer closure. I like for both parties to understand and accept why the outcome is what it is. I think that’s why I struggled so much with sitches like Ant last year and KB this year. I had to BUILD my closure for those situations. Ha…not only has this been a rewarding writing exercise, but I learned something about myself as well. And no, I didn’t have to come outta pocket so rudely about calling someone more convenient (he lives 30 min away) But he had it coming. Saying he was too busy when he KNOWS I know otherwise is not only a statement about my importance to him, but it’s a cheap shot at my intelligence. People get fired in this bitch for smaller infractions. I was over our sitch before I could even be under him. (Dude, if I had time to blog about it last week, you’ve BEEN outta the picture!) Note to stupid guys: NObody’s sex is THAT good. And if it is, I’m glad I didn’t fuck up and let him smash.
Good Morning!

Where else have I been?

Other things in less exciting news…

Ike (one of the “Great Ones”, you know, when you think you’re in love etc) moved away to Waco. I was absolutely annoyed with him the whole week before he left and now I don’t put much thought into it. I haven’t seen him in maybe a year…and before that more than 2 years, so the move doesn’t effect anything…if we couldn’t find the time to be friends when he lived 30 min away, what’s another 2 hrs, ya know?

What else? Bryant (on again off again for the past 3 and a half years finally cut himself off forever I think. His grandma recently passed away and he tried to throw it in my face like I didn’t give a shit about him…we’re better than that…or we were…but I’m not even gonna worry about it. I offered a shoulder or an ear if he needed it, and I’m sorry to see him lose someone so important to him, but our friendship can’t be fixed at this point. I think we only held on because of the time we invested (almost 4 years) but it’s done for good this time around. There’s a reason we never dated…this is the reminder.

Speaking of deaths in the family, Jay (aka Strummable abs to Sharon) recently lost his younger cousin. It happened around the same time as Bryant’s grandma, but they seemed to handle their sitches completely differently. I saw hime the other day…all I’ll say is he hasn’t changed much. He’s not the man I wanted to marry, but he’s a good friend…one who forgives and forgets better than I ever could. His franchise seems to be doing well, and things are looking up for him despite his obstacles, but the boy’s gonna be okay.

I’m a lot closer to getting a new car…fingers crossed.

I finally got around to seeing “Slumdog Millionaire” and “He’s just not that into you”…GREAT stuff. Not that I take movies/books seriously, but…well I’ll touch on it later. Right now I’m about to get the house ready for a 4-legged guest…Luciano is about to have a female friend til February…I get the feeling they’re gonna hump. hopefully not tho. I’ll be damned if anybody’s gettin some under MY roof when I’m not.

Where I’ve been pt. 2

But so uh, as quickly as me and Brian’s adventures began (I let a man know where I live for shit sake….that’s like…kind of a big deal) they ended fairly quickly. Before I explain why, I’ll say it was fun having him around. Despite my non-traditional lifestyle, he made me feel tame…domesticated if you will. It was like I had all day to rip and run and act a damn donkey…but when he called, everything stopped and I was on my best behavior. He was verrrrrry intuitive…no matter how well I hid my thoughts or emotions, he was able to figure me out. And he was sensitive!!! Not soft. BUT, I finally met someone more sensitive than me. LOL, it was a learning experience cause I had never dated a Cancer. Hmmm…

But it ended because simply put, Sandy’s male roommate (one of Brian’s best friends) went ape shit and lost his damn mind one day…he all of a sudden had a problem with me, and it pushed me to end my friendship with Sandy…and later with Brian. Chillin though…cause like I said, I never let the wall down so there’s no feeling of loss. Don’t get me wrong, I miss hanging out, and receiving phone calls throughout the day that made co-workers wanna listen in cause they were jealous. I miss his back rubs…and how affectionate he was. Not the typical cake stuff either…the weird gestures that only a girl like me would appreciate. )

Where I’ve been pt. 1

So, I’ve been too busy LIVING to blog properly…that and the fact that I don’t have a job with unlimited personal computer access anymore. But, here’s what you’ve missed.

Yes, I weaned myself off of KB. I miss him, and it sucks, but I had the confidence of a wet noodle when I was stuck on him. I’ll always have a weak spot for him, and I’ll always root for Sore Losers… (he’s so talented with unlimited potential…all I want is success and happiness for him.) That and better music on the radio. But what I needed was something he would never in a million years be able to provide.

Moving on…so…while hanging out with Sandy and her roomate, I met Brian a few months back. It had been a lonnng time since I had to pretend I wasn’t interested in someone. Lmao, he walked through the door and I had to passively run to the bathroom to brush my hair and check my nose for boogers. I knew I had no reason to–He had a gf, and I was stuck on KB–but still…I couldn’t live with myself if I let Shemar Moore’s clone see me lookin ratchet. That first night I met him, we played a sex compatibility game on his iphone. (Yes, there’s an app for that…and Sandy and I were bored…) He and I ended up having a high compatibility score, and it was all I could do to keep from blushing. I know, it’s just some app to pass time by…but still. A few weeks later, he and Sandy’s bf stopped by my job. I knew he wouldn’t recognize me, so I walked up to him (looking considerably hotter than when he’d met me the first time) and said,

“Hey…I’m Kris…according to your phone, we’d have really great sex…”

We had a short convo, and though we said we’d exchange numbers, we waited a good month and a half. I actually didn’t see him again until we ended up in a drinking game that left everyone buck ass naked. When we did exchange numbers though, we hit the ground running. I found myself ironing his clothes for work and goin’ on double dates with Sandy & CJ. You know, shit I had no business doin. It was fun tho…

Take the Stairs.

I watched their eyes tangle with one another’s from across the room…he stood sipping his drink, undressing her with his eyes. She…sat desperately grasping at the shreds of fabric, hoping no one noticed she was standing there naked. The second he took his eyes off her, she made her way to the door, hoping to get some fresh air and gather her thoughts. He soon followed and slipped into the elevator behind her. As the doors began to slide shut, I saw him push several buttons, guaranteeing a longer trip than usual. I’m sure he pressed his body against hers, and ran his fingertips over her lips. I’m sure she couldn’t help but to push back, and return every last kiss he gave her.

When the party began to fizzle, I finished my drink and headed to the elevator. When it arrived, I let the guys from the band on first…but with their instruments, I realized I wouldn’t fit. Opting for the stairs, I bid them all goodbye, and made my way to the door that led to the stair well. I took 3 steps down but froze at the sound of whispering and soft moaning. I slowly eased closer to the rail in order to look down and see who I had almost stumbled upon. Though I was shocked at the scene, I wasn’t surprised to find the elevator love birds going at it. Quietly, I stepped back and made my way out of the stair well.

Flustered by my discovery, and not looking where I was going, I damn near ran a woman over trying to get back to the elevators. I apologized, and was even more embarrassed when I saw that it was a familiar face…

“Have you seen…” Her voice trailed off. She cleared her throat and tried again. “I’ve been looking all over for him…can’t find him anywhere…”

I knew exactly where he was…but there was no way I could tell her…

“No…but I’m sure he’s been up and down, probably looking for you…you just can’t seem to catch him…”

I tried to give a reassuring nod as I stepped onto the elevator even though I felt guilty. My cab was waiting downstairs, and the whole way home I thought about the risk, and whether or not anyone saw us sneak away.
For what it’s worth, it was worth it.