O…K, B!

As far as evil robots go…he’s not one. I never…ever sit and try to “figure him out”. Cause while I’m sure that would be a challenge, the act of not doing so is a challenge in itself  as well.   I’m pretty much coasting off of a few select thoughts…

1.) It is so good. (Yes, like the yogurt commercial)
2.) I have an eye contact complex, and there have been very few people in my life that I’ve been able to make natural eye contact with. Not sayin he’s special or anything, but, I feel like somewhere on his sclera there’s a grafitti tagging that reads, “Ivy was here” Lol.
3.) Don’t get this confused with me being mushy, but, I’d probably listen to him fart the national anthem if he asked. I put up with a lotta bizarre gestures, and that really wouldn’t seem too far-fetched anymore.
4.) The last bite of cheesecake tastes best when it’s someone elses. Even if you didn’t want any. Lol…
5.) To call him a best friend seems like it would cheapen it. (I stole that concept from Kenny…who in a non-cheap way is one of my best friends. Hmm!)…but none of my best friends could get away with licking the side of my face and have me walk around smellin like a sneeze. LOL…
6.)  His “concern” reminds me that even with all my super powers, I’m not fully invincible, and I really should be careful. “You don’t like me walkin’ in the sun cause it’s hot…or unda da moon cause there’s weirdos at night…so when can I walk? And under which planet/star?” Lol…

Anyway…I don’t like the guy.

My off day

So…yesterday was my off day…went over KB’s and lounged around…takin’ cat naps and what-not…watched a shit-load of the Boondocks…lol.

Here are some recent observations…

1.) It doesn’t have to smell like laundry, cologne, soap, etc…but just a man’s scent in general (not just any man of course, lol) is this crazy mix of “turn on, comfort and safety.”

2.) We write hard…talk soft…act softer.

3.) I’m more giving than I’d like to admit.

4.) Secret turn on…whispering ANYTHING in my ear. “I really enjoy cheeseburgers”…”Did you remember to turn off the iron?”…”Can you help me do laundry on Saturday?” Yes, ANYTHING. Lol…it can get downright silly at times…what’s wrong with me???

Uhhh’s, so I get a call from Biggers, and I’m thinkin it’s gonna be on some hardcore serious-business isht…(I kinda cringed before I answered cause I was sooooo comfortable and at ease). But…he was calling to tell me my skate deck is featured on the LupEnd Blog. I’d say it was the highlight of my day…but…my whole day was kind of a highlight cause I spent it with one of my favorite people on a futon, eatin’ chips, drinkin’ happy hour jumbo fountain drinks and watchin’ cartoons. I know you’re like “Wtf?” Lol, don’t take much to make me happy. But I digress…I was totally stoked that they decided to post it…it’s kind of a big deal cause everyone knows I love all things Fiasco. 

What elsers? This is the third day in a row I’ve been in contact with Jay (AKA Mr. Abs to you Shannon, lol) and I’m kinda like, “Niiiiice…ooops…huh?” It’s just small talk, and wouldn’t be a big deal if we’d always been in touch. I dunno…I think about him and feel shy. *Hmm*

Heh. No matter. Really just stopped by to say I’m thankful for my lazy day in yesterday. Looking forward to the next.

Shhh…I stealz deh babeh pick chuhs.

Baby Jayliciah

Simply Beautiful

Jay and his newest little one

Lol, he just gon’ hafta be mad at me for sharing these. (Stole em from his facebook, lol) Speaking of, he called today as I was getting ready for work. All’s well for him, and like I said before, I couldn’t be happier. These were my fave pics from the album cause of the way he’s looking at her. *Cheesy grin* I love it!

Her name is Jayliciah Marie, and I’m here to tell you right now, had it been me, and she haaaaaad to have his name in there somewhere, it would have been “Jaela” (You heard me, not Jayla like he’d try to do) Lol, again, all kinds of congrats cause she’s freakin a. dor. able.

Ciao Babeh!

Lupe Fiasco inspired skate deck.

Okay, so for those of you that DON’T know, I’ve been in Love with Lu prolly since before he was featurin’ on Tha Rayne’s songs (btw, though nobody knows who they are…I loved them…Yummy Bingham is the truth!) Anyways…not gonna gush on him, cause if you love Hip Hop, Rock, Pop, Fashion or any nerdy shit, you can pick up what he’s puttin’ down. (Haha…I stole that from Prince Vince Blade Brown…lol) Anyway…I’d call Lupe a genius, but…it’s takin him entirely too long to ask for my hand in marriage. Lu…whatchu waitin’ on?!

: ) Enter the first official “Chic” deck from Unkommon Kolor…

I love Lupe Fiasco!Details, Details...

Details, Details...

My first custom deck…engraved with a woodburner, stained, and handpainted by my alter ego (Pretty Flaca DiBaca). My tribute to the man of my dreams and one one of the songs that put him on the rest of the word’s radar, “Kick Push”.

“…Now let me make one thing clear, I don’t need to ride yours, I got mine right here…”

A quote I live by : ). You can check this and other Fly Shit out at Unkommon Kolor.

Peace…F&F^

Chase

So, I’ve lived in my North Dallas neighborhood for nearly 3 years. Not much has changed accept there’s more cops, less violence, and I get slightly less attention than I did when I was new. I say less, because when I first moved out here, I was TERRIFIED to leave the house during the day. I’d get so much unwanted attention it was scary. Guys following me for blocks, or tryin to trap me with their vehicle in a dead end, etc. It got to the point where I’d only walk down the street after 11pm. Cause at night, in my pajamas, it’s harder to see what I look like. People are less likely to bother me cause I could be a crack-head, a hooker, a guy… Whatever. Well, out of all the guy’s cars that slowed down over the years, there’s one guy that I was always polite (though short) with. In all of our run-ins, He’s never honked at me (my pet peeve). He always rides alongside me, trying to convince me that “today’s the day…” Lol. He’s parked and walked with me a few times, and while I admired his “I’m tryin to come correct” approach, it still didn’t get him far. His name is Chase, and he strikes me as a soft-spoken, square Ryan Leslie. Yesterday, he saw me at the shopping center near my apts. He quickly parked his Hummer, and followed me into where else? The beauty supply store. Lol, he dared to go where no straight man dares to gooooo…lol. I couldn’t find what I wanted, so we went next door to another store where I did. (Cleaning gloves) he then grabbed my hand (bold, right?!) And for some reason I spared his life (anybody knows that I’m quick to pull out the mace and/or a blade). He opened up the passenger side of his truck and gave me a ride back home (2 min away). We talked, and after nearly 3 years of politely turning him down, I gave him my number. Not cause I wanna date anyone…hell, after this week, I’m so burnt out on “liking” someone, I don’t know when I’ll come back down off the shelf. It’s not like getting back up on the horse…it’s more like climbing onto a talllll giraffe…oh well. I’ve got a 3 day weekend, and my prior plans are ruined so…
But I digress. I gave him my number “because”. And because had I not, I feel like Karma woulda sent another asshole along to teach me a lesson. Heh…hope this week ends well. I really wish Ant coulda came to open mic last night. *fighting a smile* I remember him being quite the poet.

Google Me, Baby!

Lol…so I was havin’ this “I’m hungry but too on edge to eat, What if I really doooo have the diabeetus, I miss KB, prolly should call my Madre and touch bases, Everyone buy a shirt, no I’m not crying!!! (But I really am)” Day, and I thought I’d just curl up and dieeeee!!! LOL vvvvvthat’s how I looked!!!

Punky and Breezy

Last night my Ant Bite texted me…lol, *crowd goes aww* I hope things are looking up for him.

*Pause!!!* While we’re on ex’s, REMIND ME TO TELL YOU BOUT JAY. Omg…

Okay. So today…I see Leslie and just wanna cry in her lap. But…I had a million things to do at my desk, so I just kept leanin back to keep the tears in. Even though it’s Mika’s day off, I was bummed not havin’ her here cause I know she’s never comin’ backkkkk….:( Damn son…

As far as Mr. Feet-Sweeper-Offer, in search of peace, I said my piece…and we’ll see what happens.

But so yeah…I googled myself at my desk. I’m not vain…but I do it every few weeks or so. (It’s fun because I’m like the only “Krisaela” in the world…there’s another, but I think it’s a dude in the Phillipines…) Anyway…I got the normal stuff (Blogs, Unkommon Kolor, Poetry, Track Meet results from way back when…but then…I clicked this…and it Made. My. Day. LOL…it’s like, 2 years old…but the compliments made me all warm and fuzzy inside. I never read them til today. I remember that shoot with my bestie, but not the comments on the pic. Hell, I didn’t think much of the fact that I was in the pic…I was quicker to brag on HIS skills…cause he’s freakin amazing. *Sighs* I see him enough, but I miss him. Like, I miss him 2 years ago. Sip on that…

:)

Lol, so…the other day, I saw them kissing…bodies pressed up against each other and I thought…”Way to climb outta the rabbit hole…”

Ugh. I went back and forth on the issue, wondering whether or not to tell her to get out while she could….or to take a chance. Some would have called me a coward, but again…Flaca [Me] never plans to fail. Vulnerability isn’t really an option for a woman like me. (Haha…a woman…heehee…LOL…I’m a Woman!) Lmao…sorry…I forget I’m a grownup sometimes.

So I sat scratchin my head, tryin to find the words to say and the time to speak up…but then I said fuck it! Lol! You know what his kisses are like? They’re like when you’re a lil kid, and you grew up without a swimming pool…but yo momma let you hook up the sprinkler and run through it!!! LOL…heart beating with excitement cause you’re “scared” of the water, and it’s cold…but the sun’s hot and you kinda just find yourself either happily chasing the streams of water or letting them chase you. If you still don’t understand…next time the ice cream truck comes…get yourself a grape popsickle. Sorry, I’m just in a good, summer-y mood.

www.markushartel.com

^^^Shot out to anyone from Philly who’s ever played in the fire hydrant water during the summer.

Extra 5 points if it was in North Philly

Extra 10 points if it was in West Philly

200 points for knowin’ your local Mr. Softee!!!

Aww Man, Amen!!!

Excerpt

Been kinda “busy” lately…and by “busy” I mean I’ve yet to find a way to put my feelings into words without furthering my dillema…but, in the meantime, I have been looking at older entries from other blogs, and I realize that though I’ve softened up a little, I’m still a bit rough. The following excerpts can still apply to how I feel about life right this second.

November 16, 2006

“First off…I’m happy with my endeavors…happy that for the time being, folks know how to mind their business (For the most part…) Happy that when I say I was happy before you, I’m happy with you, and I’ll be happy without you, I mean it. I don’t need a nigga. Don’t need a daddy, a brother, friend, boyfriend…but I WANT you. So quit testing my ambivalence! I love how being “In a Relationship” can sometimes feel as liberating as being “Single” or as unsure as when “It’s complicated”.”

Still true. At the moment, I’ve slipped into a rabbit hole of sorts, and I’m stuck at a point deciding whether I should climb back out…or burrow my way to the the other end…I’m Tom Cruisin’ it cause this is risky business! Worth the wait? Yes. Worth the risk…hope so. *goofy grin*

Hmm.

I’m having a great hair day. And that’s about it. Oh wait, spoke too soon…I’ve got a 95% on my QA scores for the week, and just scored a 97% on my corporate calibrations. Woo-mutha-effin-hoo. Most of my bills are taken care of…and I’ll actually have some extra money at the end of the month…dunno which of my funds it’ll go to, but, it’ll be a blessing.

*Sighs* but all that aside, my mind is elsewhere. There’s a lotta things I have to adjust pretty soon to avoid disaster, and it’s a bit overwhelming. Usually my mannish approach to these kind of things would be my go-to solve-all…and yet, not this time around. Ugh…over-thinking…UGH!!! I won’t unravel my thoughts here tho, so lucky you…

Blah…be back later when I’m a bit more organized.

Post Therapy

Ha, just realized the title of this entry is a pun. But that’s neither here nor there. So, I’ve been consumed by my new favorite blog stop lately, “According to me: Learning how to fall out of love”. When I read Shannon’s blog, I can’t help but feel like I’m walking past a painted picture of a place that looks eerily familiar…

I was there. Not being able to eat, sleep, function. Always feeling like I was on the verge of being sick…not wanting to be around anyone, yet hating being alone. I was unemployed, crying in between interviews because I gave up all chances of stability while trying to preserve something that wasn’t meant for me to keep. It took me nearly 8 months to get it together. Everytime I’d get on a roll, I’d find myself ruining it for some quick fix, and then having to work twice as hard to get back where I was. I went from thinking I had to move 5 hours away from him  to finally staying  my black ass right where I was and making it to the light at the end of the tunnel. I think things took a huge turn in February when I woke up at 5am Wednesday morning to get ready to record…only to hear that my best friend had died in her sleep. It was in the days of mourning that followed that I realized that in life, there are truly more important things worth crying over.  

Eventually, I got back to “living”, and these days I’m better than ever. But, that doesn’t mean I don’t remember where I came from. This is why I find Shannon’s posts to be therapeutic. They serve as a reminder that life does go on, and you’ll make it through. I’m proof. : ) !!!