: ) !!!

So…though I completely winged this weekend, I did it well. Friday…open mic poetry…I had a BLAST. Performed twice (I did “Love May King” and “Other Women, Other Woman“) got some great feedback…I really just have to work on my nerves. Either way…GREAT night. I heard 3 of THE most talented R&B Soul artists live and under one roof. Quentin Dyer Moore, John Bailey and Archie Robinson. OMG. Okay, Yeah, Q is my friend…but dude is TALENTED. He recently released an album, and if I can figure out how to link to all his stuff, I’ll do so later. Archie and John were COMPLETE surprises…I had never met either of them, and while I had heard of John, I’d never heard him live. Each of them performed individually…KILLED IT. Then they came back up for a collabo…I’m here to tell you right now…there was nothing more beautiful than three SEXY, TALENTED, CHOCOLATE LOCAL artists performing…the only way I can explain the music they made (keep in mind it was pretty much all improvised!!!) is to say that I was starving and didn’t even know it! Then their voices fed me. It was like something was poured over me…I was definitely in a trance. Whatever voo-doo they did…it’s rekindled my love for the Dallas music scene.  Again, I’ll try to come back and link to these artists I was so blessed to meet and perform amongst…but I will say, there’s no youtube vid or online snippet that will be able to give you an idea of how I felt in their presence…there’s nothing like being right there to hear the richness of their voices, and the music…omg. Alright, I’m done…sort of…

Speaking of Good local music…(soon to be all over the world music) The Sore Losers had a GREAT show Saturday night…check out the pics here : ) *goofy grin* That King Blue guy is rather handsome…Vince did his thing…even with those retched tube socks. :-/ Lol, so…shot out to KB, Prince Vince, Fizzy Dino Pop, Damaged Good$ and Steven “Wreckamic” Mullin for bein’ the DOPEST Storm Trooper to ever grace the stage. (Check the pics…he was doin the Stanky Legg…need I say more?!)

*Shrugs* All in all…it was a good night…I got to be around some of my favorite people…hear some of my favorite music, and probably add to some of my favorite memories.

I’ll leave with a few things I observed…

1.) There’s something utterly magical about sexy panties…they scream, “Touch me…” without even being seen. 

2.) My little purple dress (or any simple dress I throw on for that matter) can whoop your little black dress’s ass!!!

3.) Eyes…arms…get lost in em.

Ciao!

:-(

So…I blacked out today…had a scare with the possibility of diabetes…and on a sidenote, I confessed my undying “like” for someone…and then ultimately proceeded to end our sitch…it’s bad, cause I didn’t want to…but, you know me…:-( so…quickly, someone PLEASE show me where the silver lining is. I walked away because I wasn’t thirsty…I was hungry. I…found myself slipping into cookie-cutterdom…and didn’t feel like being vulnerable, or ever coming off as a “girl”…and yet, the moment stings as if I were that girl I didn’t wanna be. Heh. Would it have been easier to just start talking to other people on the side? Yes. Cause it would curb my craving. But no, cause I didn’t wanna eat anything else. With all that being said…I’ll keep tellin myself I did the right thing (even though I feel miserable)…and I’ll occupy myself with re-doing this freakin blog. So much for a sidenote…

Post Therapy

Ha, just realized the title of this entry is a pun. But that’s neither here nor there. So, I’ve been consumed by my new favorite blog stop lately, “According to me: Learning how to fall out of love”. When I read Shannon’s blog, I can’t help but feel like I’m walking past a painted picture of a place that looks eerily familiar…

I was there. Not being able to eat, sleep, function. Always feeling like I was on the verge of being sick…not wanting to be around anyone, yet hating being alone. I was unemployed, crying in between interviews because I gave up all chances of stability while trying to preserve something that wasn’t meant for me to keep. It took me nearly 8 months to get it together. Everytime I’d get on a roll, I’d find myself ruining it for some quick fix, and then having to work twice as hard to get back where I was. I went from thinking I had to move 5 hours away from him  to finally staying  my black ass right where I was and making it to the light at the end of the tunnel. I think things took a huge turn in February when I woke up at 5am Wednesday morning to get ready to record…only to hear that my best friend had died in her sleep. It was in the days of mourning that followed that I realized that in life, there are truly more important things worth crying over.  

Eventually, I got back to “living”, and these days I’m better than ever. But, that doesn’t mean I don’t remember where I came from. This is why I find Shannon’s posts to be therapeutic. They serve as a reminder that life does go on, and you’ll make it through. I’m proof. : ) !!!

I’m still MIA…

Aww man. So…I’ve been mia again cause…I’ve been kept busy with work, (we’re still picking up call volume) My God children (Spent Easter with them and had a draining yet good time) and with each of my other endeavors all while trying to stay in the loop with UK. This whole stolen aircard thing is a bit pricey/annoying…*grrrr*

So…I’ll go in order from driest to juiciest. : )
For starters…I’ve been doin the “roommate” thing for almost 2 months now, and it was okay for a while, but…I’m ready to have my space back. I’m ready for my utilities to go down, and to get my carpet cleaned and a washer and dryer put in. She doesn’t pay anything…which is fine, cause I let her stay with me to get on her feet…but now I’m seeing I may have made things worse. First and foremost, I’ll say she’s my friend, I love her to death, and despite the following issues, those statements remain true. We work the same job/shift, yet our work ethics differ; she doesn’t save her money, even though her only real responsibility is her phone bill. She’s always out clubbing, or smoking…then going through some emotional or financial crisis. I try to offer her advice, but I think it’s a matter of her being young, and not having to be held accountable for anything. The more issues she has, the more I feel like Mom when I talk to her…except nothing gets through to her cause within hours, she’s back to planning what she’ll wear that night…Either way, she has til the middle of May at the very latest to get herself together and out because I feel like anything past that and we’ll end up not being friends. (Not that we’re on that path, but…with time I will have bitten my tongue til it became sharp and forked.)

Next, I’ve been putting off talking to my Mom…I hadn’t really spoken to her since Valerie’s funeral cause I felt she turned a sad event into something ugly…I felt the things that were coming out of her mouth were off base, and that even if there was a time for them, my BEST friend’s death wasn’t that time. I feel like, Val’s death was a reminder that tomorrow isn’t promised, and life is precious. With that being said, why use it as a vehicle to push your daughter away? Particularly when you’re not close to that daughter in the first place?! *Sighs* It was frustrating to say the least, and while we opened the can this past Saturday, we’ve yet to get to the bottom of it. This past month, I’ve found that some days I didn’t call her because I was having a good day, and didn’t want it to go downhill, and when I was having a bad day, I didn’t want it to get worse. That sounds ugly, but that’s where we stood. I will try to bring about peace soon, but right now I’m overwhelmed with work (my schedule stilllllll sucks) the roommate sitch and UK’s feature in GLO’s show next week…

Speaking of Glo…anybody who knows me knows what I think of them, and their affiliates (ceptin’ for Wreck cause he’s my Damey…even though I nevvvvvver see him…sadface). Don’t get me wrong, they’re cool dudes in their own right, but business-wise, my focus is on UK and not over involvement with other companies or organizations that aren’t instrumental in our progress. (Ooooh, you like how I kept it clean!) Not to mention the fact that the Ex rolls with them and though I don’t harbor any hard feelings for him…we aren’t talking (at my request). I’m tempted to say it’s for the better…not sure how things are on his end (They seem fine to me), but I’m cool. I don’t watch him live his life, and vice versa. I’ll always love him…and like he says, we may still come full circle some day but, right now I’m enjoying my peace. Enjoying is an understatement by the way…I can’t explain it but…

Still friends with the other Ant…lol. He’s still silly as all get-out…still fun as I dunno what…but we’ve been busier lately and it’s harder to catch up with each other. *Shrugs* it’s cool…few weeks ago we went to Denny’s and I thought I’d DIE from laughter…maybe if I pen him down on one of my upcoming off days we’ll go again, cause I could use some fresh air and hard laughs.

Lastly…in the past month and a half, I’ve had somewhat of a pen pal, and the more I talked to him, the more I realized we’re like twins…we think alike, share a lot of the same experiences, feelings and opinions on life. I realized other things too, but…it’s not somethin’ I plan on exploring here on this blog cause for one, I’ve got a lot on my plate, and while this blog serves as an outlet for me to dump stuff from it, this is one thing I’m gonna keep on. *soft smile* Can’t just go skippin’ and hummin’ around this blog all willy nilly…but it’s a good look. Until we meet again, this is Uma signing off…;-)

Drake- Best I ever had

I’ve been keepin my distance from blogs and writing, because for one, SOMEONE has my aircard so I don’t have internet…I’ve also been afraid to write cause it’s gonna be about the same things for a while and on top of having theeee shittiest schedule at work, Valerie passed away last month, and I’ve been having to play little games in order to accept it (I really don’t accept it) and just be able to function.

I’ll give a brief summary of what you all (2 or 3 people) missed (you didn’t really miss it, cause we talk outside of my blog!). Unkommon Kolor has really taken off, we had an awesome show at TWU last month (we smashed), and our sales are up right now. (http://www.UnkommonKolor.com) if you get a shirt, let me know!
Then, only 11 days later, Val passed. It still hasn’t registered that my prime example of LIFE is no longer living. She left behind two of the most beautiful children (Brandon and Breezy!) And so many people who genuinely loved her. I met Belinda and Vince (her personal trainer she’d been tryin to hook me up with…square biz, I don’t blame her cause he’s pretty awesome…she had good taste, and he really is a great guy. Her fiance is a charm as well, though probably missunderstood most of the time.

I’ve been dealing with a lot of anger towards the parentals (it’s gonna come out soon, and it won’t be pretty).

I have a puppy (Luciano) that bugs the beJesus outta me, but I looooove him…(Kevin got him for me for Christmas) he’s my little shit starter!

I started a new job back in January, meaning that when you have questions on the Liz Claiborne site, it’s usually me that answers the phone in the evenings. I love the new collection…(Isaac Mizrahi is our new head designer) and the Gals from corporate seem absolutely stellar. Not to mention my girls from work, namely Mika cause she’s the main offender, occasional roomate, and party-partner.

All this has been up, along with me still bein head over heels for Anthony (ie: the only part that matters) and inspiration for the title of this entry. I’ll link to it later, but check out the song (lyrics) of Drake’s “Best I ever had”. Ant sent the song to me last night, and I swear a girl couldn’t love a boy more than I do him. But enough of that irrelevant stuff…cause as a patient in the waiting room (more on that later) I’m reading a good magazine right now.

There’s another Ant in my life…I say in my life cause he prolly attributes to 84% of my texts and calls…I don’t think anyone has made me laugh or…(Sheepish grin) this much ever. He’s a good friend, even without over involvement…real passive, easy going and easy to fall asleep on. I can’t compare him to anyone cause he’s truly one of a kind and I’m thankful to know him. *sighs* he’s outta town right now and that suuuucks!

*wipes brow* that’s it for now, except for maybe the lesson of the month (lol!) Don’t cheat on a private investigator unless you don’t care if they catch you.

“You know what?”

“I’m just like you, know what, “you chose”. I don’t want to say it again but here it goes, f**k it “We’re just friends. Now where’s my clothes?”–NERD

Awww hell…

So my friends had an extra ticket to the Common/Nerd show last night…my second time seein’ Common, first time seein’ Pharrell & crew perform live. Front row as usual…why when Pharrell said the above line did he feel the need to mug me? Needless to say, it stuck in my head. It’s a good song…I hate the scenario–a lotta Nerd songs are like this–but it’s honest. Lol…I ain’t want much ya’ll…just givin’ you notice before you notice I’m not here anymore. I’ll be reading you guys, but not writing here for a while. Sucks when your outlets get scratched out. Yeah, I know.

Unprofessional

So, back in college I had a Victoria’s Secret account…I think the card limit was like 300 bucks. I would usually keep the card maxed out, and pay on it whenever I bought something. After a while, I stopped using the card, and eventually stopped paying on the bill. The card got closed, but they were still adding late fees and all sorts of bs to the account total. When they finally stopped addin’ isht to it, it was at $628 and some change. Back in the day, I was like, “I’m not payin’ ya’ll a b**** a** thang til you take off some of them bs charges!!!” Couple years went by, and the collection folks started calling. This wasn’t new to me…I have student loans out the wah-zoo. So, Because I’m a grown-up, and I had a good job, I started paying on the debt. I payed 400 bucks to them, and they stopped calling…even though I had intentions of paying the whole thing off. Well, they recently started calling again, and the following conversation is what transpired.

Rude Collections guy: Ma’am, the total is $228.30. Would you like to settle this amount today?

Me: No, I’m currently unemployed, and I’m unable to, however I’ll be more than happy to once I’m back to work.

RCG: Oh come on, put 25 dollars towards it.

Me: I don’t have 25 bucks.

RCG: Ma’am, everyone has $25…come on, just do it.

Me: I’m sorry, I can’t.

RCG: How do you live?

Me: Barely.

RCG: Why don’t you ask your husband to help you pay it?

Me: I’m not married…

RCG: What? He left you cause you maxed out all his credit cards?

Me: No…Is this some kind of joke?

RCG: Is that a tv I hear in the background? I hope that’s not cable…why don’t you sell your tv? How do you pay your rent? Who pays your phone bill? Why don’t you disconnect your phone? I shouldn’t be able to reach you…cut your phone off if you’re so poor.

Me: (still not sure if I should laugh or curse him out) This has to be a prank because you’re extremely unprofessional…

RCG: Unprofessional??? I’m at WORK. This is my profession. You on the other hand have an account that’s been delinquent for a year now…

(LMAO…) It wasn’t funny when he said it, but everytime I repeat the conversation I’m damn near in tears laughing at this guy…he had an accent and he never got out of character…it was priceless.

Please, have a seat.

This poem came about today when I realized I had a guest. It’s dripped in spite, but, it’s less personal than you would think. It’s an all-inclusive lecture (to several people, annnnd myself…) It’s how I was feeling on the way home today. Lastly, it was sparked by my decision to move back to San Antonio.

You’re not welcome,
But you’re welcome…
I mean, thank you
For joining us,
I mean, joining them.
Hall of Fame of No-Names
With plenty game and no shame.
Pretty lame…
If you think about it,
Hope you thought about it,
Hope you nod about it,
Talk to God about it,
Happy shout about it,
And can do without it,
Cause it’s good to be,
Too good to be,
(What you were to me…)
But best you be
Free,
To have two,
Or three…
To half you and me.

And I’m happy for you,
Not exactly for you,
I’ll be back before you
With my back before you…

Call me Ullyse and you Arliss

Than your excuses.

Future tales of more you’s,
Lessons with more use,
and less to lose.
Cause I refuse
(I fuse, and then I fuse again)
To be con-fused
With Beneficial Friends.
(Ctrl alt delete-ends. )

Sometimes I have to lose to win.

*Hit Send*

Oh yeah,

Don,

I thought something was wrong with my mobile blogger…but, I see your blog is um, invite only, um, and if I don’t receive an invite asap, something bad will happen!!!

Bare with me…

I’m still trying to figure out this wordpress stuff…*Sighs*

I’ll write a real entry later, but for now, know that I’m in the middle of packing up my apt to move into a bigger one (yay), eatin some chicken wings, listening to a medley of Kimya Dawson (please listen…she’s hilarious), Bootsy Collins, Anita Baker, and Johhny Guitar Watson…

I’m hating my job more and more every day…

I’m about to go give a certain asshole his tie back (We had went dancing a long time ago, got drunk and I found it in my purse the next day…?)

I’m pondering the future relationship (or lack there of) between me and my ex. Trying to decide if I’m being tested. If I give the new guy a chance, he may turn out to be my worst nightmare…but if I don’t, I’ll feel like I let a good one get away. It’s like, he’s a really great guy…actually his only fault is…liking me (or acting like he likes me) too much and too soon. It’s nerve racking…*Sighs* Then I’ve got a valid crush on the coffee shop dude…like a middle school crush like, a “he said hi to me at my locker” type of crush…lol…I’m gonna get back to work…these bags won’t pack themselves.